A Personalized Journal

I love making my own personalized journals. It is a very easy and inexpensive craft....two of my general crafting requirements!

I have made a few of these over the past year...

For my 2010 "Word of the Year"

For my "Baby Prayers" journal..where I write down my hopes, dreams, and prayers

And, most recently, a place to write down all my thoughts as I am reading each month's book club selection


For the last one, I also did a tutorial for my book club members and thought all the readers here would like it...so here it is from me to you!

Now for the super easy "how to":

First, you need supplies:

• Composition notebook
• Something to cut with
• Adhesive - I recommend spray adhesive because it will keep the paper from curling up and gets right to the edges.
• Colored paper
• Embellishments of your choosing - I printed my from the Internet images because there are not many infertility related scrap booking stickers and such ;)

Next, cut the paper to the size of the journal:



(I generally leave the black binding showing, but that is just my own preference)


Now, glue the paper to the notebook (I highly recommend putting down paper if you are using spray adhesive):


Last step is to add the embellishments with the same adhesive as above:


(Sorry there is no picture of them actually being attached, I didn't have enough hands)

And there you have it, a book club journal:


What kind of journal will you make?

(If any part of this didn't make sense, please leave a comment and I will try to answer any questions)

New Word, New Year, New Me

I first posted this entry at Inspire.com an online support community (for lots of things, but I am a member of the infertility section). After reading it over, I thought some who read this blog might also benefit...

I was so ready for 2010 to be over!! It was pretty easy to know it was the worst year I have had and I wanted it to go away!

So here is 2011 and I want to make it better!!! I often pick a word to focus on for the year. This year that word will be "joy". Finding joy, bringing joy, living joy! Not necessarily over the top happiness, but heart-level joy. Where my soul is at peace and I can see the wonder of the world around me. I often fill my home and office with my word so that I have a visual representation to remind me (and I need to go shopping now to find some word art!).

This morning Mark and I joined a gym. We have never been big work out people, but both of us were more active before we got married. I think this will be a great chance to do something positive together. We also went on a 6 mile bike-ride New Year's Day...the first time our bikes have been out in a long time.

With still doing acupuncture, trying to focus more on finding quiet time to read my Bible and pray, a new word, and a gym membership... I am ready to take on the year.

I hope it is a year filled with our greatest blessing, but even if it is not, I want to know I did count my blessings!

My Journey to Motherhood: I'm NOT cold!!

I am happy to report that right now I am NOT cold, nor have I been all morning. This may seem unimportant to some of you, but it is very noteworthy to me. See, I am always cold, always, always, always. Temperature actually played a role in my decision to move to Florida, I wanted to be warm.

But I was still cold. I often wear Mark's wool socks...in July...in Florida. We keep our house at 76-78 degrees during the day...and I wear a jacket. I am always cold.

Except for today. Today I went jogging and it felt nice out. I was asked about the outside temp and said "pleasant". Others said it was cold. Hmmm. I dressed in crop pants and a sleeveless blouse and headed to Walmart. Everyone else was in jeans and coats. Hmmm. I went to Publix (where I am always the very coldest) and felt fine. Hmmm. Called my mom, sure she would back me up on it being a nice fall day. Nope, she said it was chilly when they went running. That's weird. Now I am working at my desk, with NO jacket.

I AM NOT COLD!!!!

One of my complaints to the acupuncturist was that I am always cold. She said that fits my diagnosis and that my blood was probably not flowing well. Five days on herbs and the biggest difference I have noticed....

I AM NOT COLD!!!

baby steps to success!!

My Journey to Motherhood: Acupuncture, First Treatment

Friday was my first acupuncture treatment. I had NO idea what to expect. I did learn (at an earlier appointment) that I have an Qi deficiency, a Yang deficiency, and Blood Stasis. These are the problems that will be treated.

It turned out to be one of the most relaxing 25 minutes I have had in a long time. I laid on the table and the doctor put about 10-12 needles in, mostly in the abdominal area but also my legs, hands, feet, and head. (I did have to slip out of my jeans, but if I had worn shorts I could have stayed completely clothed). The needles were sealed in packages that were not opened until I was ready for them and disposed of when the treatment was over. She put a heat lamp over my tummy, turned the lights down, turned on some nice music, and left.

I actually fell asleep I was so relaxed.

As for results...I was on the third day of my period and in horrible pain when I went in (basically had been living on Motrin for the last 48 hours). I didn't want to take pain killers before I had needles poked in me for the first time (thought that would maybe be a bad idea), so I planned on taking Motrin when I left. Except that when I awoke from that nice nap the cramps were gone. Completely. And haven't returned!!! For 2 days! Talk about immediate results!

I was giving herbs mixed just for me. Surprised when I found out it was only $30. for a 2 week supply. It was like reverse sticker shock after the cost of fertility meds.

So far, this has been a great experience. I am very excited for the long term results.

My Journey to Motherhood: Where I am going

So when we left off...I was feeling like we were becoming the living definition of insanity (you know? where you keep doing the same thing, expecting different results?). Maybe not quite, because we did keep tweaking things but it just wasn't enough.

I started really digging into the PCOS diagnosis. What could I do differently to make this better? Anything at all was fair game. Part of the reason for this was that PCOS patients should "over respond" to fertility meds and I was clearly "under responding" (as in, there were not a lot of follicles growing each month). So I wasn't even a normal PCOS patient.

Several months ago I saw a book called "The Infertility Cure" which is based on eastern medicine. It recommends acupuncture, herbs, diet and lifestyle changes to achieve pregnancy. I also met a girl who had ovulated on her own (with no fertility meds) for the first time in years after a few months of acupuncture.

The idea of acupuncture was starting to grow. Maybe it would be better to treat the whole body and get well...rather than keep adding drugs and hoping for the best each month?

So I met with an acupuncturist and she was very encouraging about my possibilities with acupuncture. She can help me get back to normal, where my body produces it's own hormones. That sure sounds better to us.

For now, we are going to leave the RE behind and try this new path. We don't know exactly what it will look like, but we feel better about it. At least it is, today, a less stressful path. And that alone is a good feeling!!

Many people have asked me about this plan and want to know how it works for us so I am going to use this blog to keep everyone up to date on the treatments and how acupuncture is working for me.

My Journey to Motherhood: Where I have been

*Disclaimer: I am going to start blogging my infertility journey on this blog along with all the other things I post about. These posts will mention, not in great detail - but some details, female reproductive issues. If these types of things are not what you want to read feel free to skip any post labeled "My Journey to Motherhood".

Where I have been...oh, my...where to start.... The very beginning is a long time ago, but the best place to begin.

Warning: This post probably will not be short.

I was first diagnosed with endometriosis (endo) when I was 19 after months and months of illness. My first laparoscopic (lap) surgery to laser the endo was in January of 2003 just a couple months before I turned 20. After the surgery I had monthly Lupron shots for six months to ensure I didn't have menstrual cycle in hopes the endo would go away. This was my first foray into high powered hormone therapy. Shortly thereafter I went on continous birth control (BCP) to keep the endo at bay. This is a common treatment for women not seeking to get pregnant but can really mess with the body's ability to regulate hormones later.

Fast forward a few years to 2008. I married Mark in May and we wanted to start family building right away. Figuring that it wouldn't be easy given my past, I tossed the BCP so we could get started on the journey...and what a journey it has been.

Our first infertility (IF) consult was in November of 2008. This was at the 6 month mark of trying...when anyone should seek help if they are actively trying to get pregnant but haven't yet (do NOT believe people that say it should be a year...the extra 6 months do not generally make a difference). This appointment was with my regular OB/GYN. I had 3 periods in this 6 months and things were NOT going well.

That appointment was the first time poly cystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) was mentioned, but I was told it "mild". Clomid was prescribed (along with provera to start my period) and off we went. And nothing happened...for 4 months, still not having periods on time, still no baby.

So in May 2009, we did what my friend Julie refers to as "get thee to an RE". An RE is a Reproductive Endocrinologist or fertility specialist. In meeting with the RE and many test later it was determined we had female factor IF only and the diagnosis was "annovulation" (in normal people speak...ovulation isn't occuring correction). In my case, NOT at all, without fertility drugs. I also had another endo lap and to make sure my tubes were clear...endo was lasered and no other problems found. Back to Clomid. No dice.

In November 2009 we decided to bump it up a notch and try injectible fertility medication. Time out for facts: This involves nightly subcutaneous shots of highly purified follicle stimulating hormones (FSH) along with transvaginal ultrasound (yes, you read correctly) and blood hormone monitoring (these u/s occur 4-5 times in two weeks). Followed by a "trigger" shot of human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) to induce the follicles to ovulate. And then the part which won't be talked about here because this is a family blog;) It also involves somewhere around $1000-$1200 a month to be paid to the doctor and pharmacy. The basic idea is to flood the body (in a highly controlled manner, of course) with the hormones it doesn't have in hopes that it will do what it is supposed to do. Very inexact science, but its the best they have right now, so we don't knock it too much.

The first round of this therapy was "text book perfect" except for one thing...no baby. So we tried again because these things can take time. Second round...great follicles, great lining, great...never mind. And two weeks later...double lines on a home pregnancy test (HPT or pee stick)!!!!! Whoo-hoo. The journey is over!

NOT yet :(

My first betaHCG (blood pregnancy test) was 40. Low, but early. Test again in a few days. Now 70, officially not good. Then 67, there will be no baby. I can't even begin to describe in words how I felt right then, only those that have been there can "get it".

Because we were planning a "vacation of a lifetime" for May, I went on BCP to "hopefully" keep my body from getting all out of whack again. Except that I bled really badly on the pills (for anyone reading this that has such an experience, I can not stress enough the importance of demanding an ultrasound to see what is going on in there). When I went off the pills, no period.

That was because a super giant cyst had been forming on my right ovary. As in 84mm (about the size of a softball) and it was messing up all my hormone levels. It was removed via lap in June 2010. Good news...again, everything else looks fine.

At the same time, my ovaries were drilled to allow my body to ovulate on its own easier or at least be able to go back to oral meds (like Clomid). That procedure was pretty much a bust. We did three rounds of oral meds: 1-Clomid, thin lining; 2-Femara, horrid depression and low progesterone; 3-Femara, same results.

Back to injectibles. And here I should interject that we have never lived closer than 2 hours to the RE and this was a crazy amount of driving to the doctor we were doing. If this doesn't work we are switching to a closer doctor.

It didn't work. In fact, it was the WORST treatment experience yet. So many things didn't go right and my body didn't respond well at all. The final kick was super low progesterone (which has probably always been a problem but wasn't being addressed).

On to a new doctor and he also suggests injectible meds, but with progesterone. AND he believes the PCOS (remember from the 4th paragraph?) should be addressed with Metformin. Huh, this is new. We are now tired of doing this same thing and expecting different results, have spent upwards of $8,000 on the process and have no baby.

So we want a "break" from all this medicine. And this is where we turned to somethinge new...which, sorry it took me this long to get to it, is why I am now documenting the journey. I want to share this new plan.

Except that I am worn out from reliving all that as I wrote it, and that was the short version! Next time, I will share "Where we are going". Thanks for sticking around, feel free to leave comments and if they are questions I will do my best to answer them!